"What's the BEST that could happen?"
Many of my clients will confirm that we often talk about language in our sessions and how we can change the internal narrative and outcome of certain situations simply by using more positive words.
One of the most enjoyable things about being a coach is taking on board your own theories and practices and trying things out on yourself. Which is exactly what happened last week.
Some time ago a friend of mine invited me to come away skiing in advance of his impending marriage. We were celebrating his engagement and in good spirits already, so I booked the flights there and then on my phone (damn you smartphones!).
The next day I thought “what were you thinking? you haven’t been skiing in 29 years, you don’t know anyone in the group, you’ll be away from the family for a whole week, you’re majorly unfit AND you have a prolapsed disc!” (Some of these issues more serious than others)
I could have cancelled the tickets just as easily as I had booked them, and yet I thought “what would I say to one of my clients facing a similar crisis of confidence?”
How many times has someone said to you “What’s the worst that could happen?” Where does your mind go when thinking about your answer? I suspect it conjures up a variety of images from forgetting your words in a presentation to slipping half way down a mountain with no skis!
What happens if we change one word in the sentence and ask, “What’s the BEST thing that could happen?” where does your mind go then? How does it feel when you visualise that scenario? I bet it's more positive that the previous question.
When asking the “what’s the worst/best that could happen?” question the mind focuses on the adjective and that’s the last thing it remembers from the sentence, it forms the basis of the outcome. What would you rather have …the worst or the best?
I often follow that one with… "If you could create the optimum scenario for the situation what would that look like?” I really like this as it introduces the element of control for the client and it can help them visualise what a GREAT result might be, it also builds on their focus towards reaching the BEST outcome, rather than thinking about the worst.
Not only that, it starts the thought process of ‘if that’s the outcome I want, what can I do NOW to help me get that result?’ one of the core tenets of coaching – focus on what is in your control.
I put myself through this exact process in the days before departing for the trip last week, mentally challenging myself, borrowing important pieces of kit from people, reading up about skiing technique – all in my control.
And what was my outcome? I met a really nice bunch of people, I visited a beautiful part of the world I didn’t know, got to see some great views, eat delicious food and only had one major wipe out….. all things I would have missed out on had I given in and cancelled. It was as close as I could have hoped for to getting my best result, pretty good after an absence of 29 years!
